Ironing Out the Wrinkles: The Work of a Community
Being a member of any community takes effort. The “give and get" approach is one many talk about but what does it really mean?
Sometimes it’s about getting and giving opportunities, leads, and connections. Other times it’s about giving grace, making space for others and how they work, and investing in the relationship instead of bailing on it when things get tough.
One difficult part about building great business relationships and doing business with people you like is sometimes things don’t work out. These wrinkles cause problems we often don’t want to face.
For instance, you have a bad day…or you find out you and a power partner don’t really work well together. Oil and water as it were.
How do you face them day after day, when embarrassment, anger or other feelings boil to the top? I mean we were right and they were wrong…! These feelings may keep us from moving forward. In these instances, we need to stop and assess whether being “right” all the time works in a business atmosphere. Many of us boast autonomy and feel emboldened to walk away when something doesn't work for us.
But, sometimes the world is a small place and people come back around. Working to keep bridges built for future opportunities is a key leadership quality - NOT burning bridges when we have a chance to.
So, how do you work through these difficult times and opportunities?
Perseverance is Key
Taking a moment to assess the situation before taking action is important. In fact, it takes a couple of runs to get the offer right. It’s okay, you’re not perfect and neither are they. You learn each other's strengths and weaknesses in the process — and some of what happens in building relationships is getting closer and closer and then…Life gets lifey. Somebody goes down sick, has a trauma response, doesn’t pull their weight because they’re overwhelmed by what they said that they could do, or some other unpleasant scenario.
No matter the situation, we may need to extend grace and more than like will find ourselves asking for the same thing at some point.
Adversity is where growth happens.
In these instances, we share how to overcome these wrinkles in business (or even personal) dealings while trying to preserve the relationship.
Why? We know it’s really hard. Disappointment in business is a lingering pain. It can make some of us to retreat, be it for a long or short while, or possibly even cause us to quit.
Walking Away When In Transition
You’ve gone through change. Maybe you’ve walked away from the very thing you were trying to be or build.
Then when you begin looking those two or three steps forward again, you realize reality…you’ll need to do the same thing again, build a referral network. So, how are you going to rebuild exactly what you need, all over again? It’s exhausting and never ending.
It turns out you still need those resources. Those people who are going to:
Refer your business,
Partner with you,
Work with companies you work with,
Be a trusted source.
Remember: trust is earned. So, if you have been through a situation this year, where you were disappointed by the way the things turned out (an event, an opportunity, a deal, the ebbs of a partnership/friendship), I’d like you to evaluate how to move through it as a leader.
How can you leverage a better outcome?
What are the silver linings?
Can you try again or have the hard conversation to see where it goes?
Let’s be honest, they may not react well. Going through the trenches of conflict resolution isn’t fun - it’s hard. Business is business and can be difficult for many to build boundaries around. It is building trust overtime. It is going through some stuff together.
Your leadership abilities and conflict resolution tools are what enables you navigate and solve the problem at hand. Practicing forgiveness and forward progress through business deals allows for growth and learning.
We’ve all been impacted by second-chance opportunities - and it’s important we remember some of those chances were on our behalf. From those stories we find some learn while others don’t. Some come out stronger while others remain singed. Regardless, if there is the opportunity to smooth things over and move forward, I think you should try to do so.
So, how can you extend an olive branch in order to move a “situation” forward:
Start with a conversation.
A structured, 360 debrief following an event or project can give both of you the space and opportunity to open channels of communication.
Give a compliment.
Give kudos. Talk about the high points of the event and how it went.
Share your Personal shortcomings and lessons learned.
Perhaps, make notes for the next time (if there is gonna be a next time). Own up to your own shortcomings and giving others the space to do the same. What would you do differently next time? A real opportunity is for all parties to own flaws and foibles and have a constructive way to work on it – that’s professional development and how we build people into leaders.
Express the desire to make things right.
Either way, ironing out these wrinkles in business relationships is key to a business’ longevity. It’s building those relationships you both benefit from. Sometimes partnerships dissolve or relationships end due to issues remaining unfixed, things reverting back to the way they were, or the culture being different. These are all very real things you face when building long-term relationships. It's not always perfect.
BONUS: Don’t take it personally.
It’s never going to be perfect, so what are you looking for in a business relationship? And what can you handle? Does it make sense to walk away and burn things because of your boundaries? The business world is a harsh place. Unless somebody is stealing from you, saying bad things about you, or really trying to sabotage you it’s important to not take it as a personal attack. When dealing with human nature it’s important to remember mistakes will be made, learning will need to happen, knowing how to best work together takes time, figuring out one’s strengths and weaknesses requires struggle. Establish boundaries, give a time frame, and give it your all to see if you both can profit before throwing in the towel.
These are really important pieces to building long-term relationships. In the Inner Circle we value being a resource in helping resolve issues so our members can work towards making stronger, better, longer relationships.